Meet Dr. Tina
The Soul Doctor®, Dr. Tina Hay, empowers others to stop questioning life and instead embrace the greatness within. As the Sole-Creator of Soul Detox™, Co-Founder of Living Life By Design, and published author, Dr. Tina has watched miracles emerge as other’s yesterdays are redefined and authentic health and success are obtained. Coaching global leaders in business, government, churches, or homes, Dr. Tina is a master at bringing external results by releasing wholeness within.
From Dr. Tina's published work:
The Crowning of Woman
It was 4 a.m. Everyone in the house was asleep. Yet, I was behind my desk, inwardly wrestling: How do I get it all done right? How do I do it all while ensuring everyone feels like a priority?
Truth be told, I was tapping into every source I knew so that I could pour myself out as a woman, wife, mom, business owner, Soul Doctor, daughter, sister, and friend. The juggling act of meeting the needs, expectations, and demands of others’ hearts was weightier than anyone knew. My sincere love for people was greater than my physical ability and time limitations. Yet, there I was, doing my very best to give to the fullest—to everyone but me.
As I sat with my longtime companion, the 4 a.m. hour, life forever changed in a moment as a familiar Presence entered my office. This Presence was the very presence of God. He began to surround me until I felt consumed. I sat motionless and unwilling to move in the Holiness. Deep breaths of reverence were all I could give.
His presence wooed me in, while His unspoken voice echoed within me, “Be still, my daughter. Know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10), as He enveloped me with His unconditional love.
He continued as the imbalance within me steadied, until balance and knowing were achieved. This, my friends, was when His ever-living voice began to speak a union of words in a question I had never heard before. This question, released from His mouth, was left hanging and suspended, all while awaiting my reply. Honestly, I did not want to volunteer the answer. Within my soul, I felt His mystical union of correction and perfect love say, “Tina, do you know what your problem is?”
As only the Eternal could do, I witnessed my own life flash before my eyes as if I was the spectator. His words somehow simultaneously released all of yesterdays—my history, past, and the voices I was carrying within me—words forced upon me without love. I squirmed in my chair as unconditional love allowed my tears to flow while I witnessed my life and each moment of abuse that yesterday held. I knew I needed to surrender each yesterday to answer Him. Finally, I answered His question, “No, I don’t. What is my problem?”
His voice spoke again, but this time, it was as if someone had taken a book filled with instant knowing and returned it as a novel onto the shelf of my heart. His voice hugged me as He said, “You have Cinderella Syndrome.”
Those four words filled my heart and mind with instant knowing as I relived the folktale of Cinderella. Cinderella is a story about a woman created by design for love, royalty, and success but who finds herself caught in a life of obscurity, servanthood, and neglect. I knew exactly what He meant. His words began to hollow out a space within me, evicting everything that was not part of His design for me. This infusion of instant knowledge grabbed hold, and the fit was like that of Cinderella’s beautiful glass slipper, but it didn’t stop.
Still frozen in the stillness of His Words, as word-infused dialysis filtered out the old and left me with only the new, I was undone. Years of suppressed tears were given permission to cascade down my cheeks and onto my lap as the tyranny of yesterday’s control was evicted. My heart flowed forth out of my mouth as I humbly cried, “What now, Lord?”
What I was not prepared for was how this perfect fit of knowing and understanding would create a revolution within me toward my future life, mindset, view of women, ideas of self, and the lifestyle I was trained to live, for I had been trained to live as one under.
God’s voice continued, “It is time to detox your soul of yesterday. If you allow me to detox your soul, true prosperity and health will follow, and I will never allow your past to torment your future again.”
Breathing in the depth of these words, I was reminded of 3 John 1:2, “Beloved, I pray that you would prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.”
A yes response filled me as renewed thinking and proper alignment were offered by my God of Truth. I could clearly see the symbolism of God’s words, Cinderella Syndrome, as an identity within me. I had been under those unwilling to allow me to live the life of recognition, success, and royalty I was created to share with the world.
My eyes saw this verse as if for the first time. Everything stopped as I asked myself, Is it true? Is my thinking the determining factor to my prosperity and health?
An answer came immediately as Proverbs 23:7 ran through me: “Yes. As a man or woman thinks, so is he or she.”
Another nail in the coffin of my yesterdays rang forth.
The hour that followed impregnated me with what today is known as Soul Detox, a wholeness journey brought through me by God. Why? Because I needed it, as do so many others. In my journey, I saw how yesterday’s voices from past generations’ experiences—the training I was given for who a woman is, what a woman does, how a woman is treated, and the demands a woman is expected to fulfill—were all woven together in the tapestry of my life’s identity. Some were good. Others were not. No fault. No blame. I found myself in a simple acceptance of what is.
As plumb line questions of truth became altars of transformation, I brought forth the new and understood value found in me: a woman. I asked, “How do I bring this forth into all areas of my life?”
As I examined each area of imbalance I had been given and was living, I did not want a reactionary belief. I sought God’s plumb line goal for my life until detox was found. This anchoring truth is a life mission of equal value between men and women. This truth is a motto I decree daily as I invite others into the possibility of what it looks like to live as one: Honoring man while still celebrating woman.
My friends, what if it doesn’t have to be one or the other? What if it can be both equally? Honor man and celebrate woman. Allow this to ring deep within you. If it does not have the ability to ring, notice the invitation awaiting you—just as it did me. Your health and prosperity are connected to this. I have lived it, and I have experienced thousands of men and women experience it with me.
Was the answer simple? Yes. Has it been easy? No. I have had to intentionally examine every thought and experience I have been given. From religious teachings to cultural traditions, humanity’s expectations and practices, a lack of protection, broken legal systems and injustices, my father’s lifelong addiction to women, broken and performance-based faith, my personal experiences of abuse, and a life surrounded with male-dominant mindsets—I have stepped into them all. No fault. No blame. It was what it was. But that does not mean it has to be what is. I knew I could learn how to love what is now as I was given permission to live creating what is for the future. And so I did.
When I came to this knowing, an illuminated platform was given to me that allowed me to step out from the shadow of man’s traditions I had been put under. When I did, I was invited into God’s original design for me: Woman—the crowning of man (Proverbs 12:4).
The last thing I ever want to do is feed the historical patterns of abuse—male to female or female to male. No. I want to do this right, Honoring man while still celebrating woman.
I want us to do this together. Therefore, I questioned. How do we bring the proper union of man and woman to display the gifts of each one individually?
This is where I saw it: the value of both in perfect union. This is where healing entered my heart like never before. Where there had been misgivings, the truth freed me to see it right as I heard, “A royal crown without a head to rest upon is as incomplete as a king’s coronation without the crown.”
Can you see it with me? Woman: A priceless, guarded crown meant to be displayed upon the head of royalty. Woman: The royal crowning of man. Man: A king awaiting his coronation and ceremonial crowning moment. Man: The head that the crown, the woman, is supposed to rest upon. Both are equally important, and neither are complete without the other.
This, my friends, is where healing began to flow into my Cinderella Syndrome. I saw that it wasn’t just for me. It is for everyone with voices of yesterday. Can we give ourselves permission to create our new what is? We all have Cinderella, or Cinder-fella, Syndrome. Yet, we all have the ability to transform our thinking.
I want to invite you to join me in this life journey. Detox your Soul. Become the royal crown or the head the crown rests upon. Be who your Creator designed you to be.
Together, we can honor man while still celebrating woman. Together, we can be one.